This title is actually pretty literal. My room is in a basement for those who didn’t know. It’s actually quite comfortable, I have a dislike of light while I’m trying to sleep that is only rivaled by vampires and certain monsters. About two days ago my basement room with attached cellar doors acquired a little friend. We shall call him Jiminy Cricket, though by no means dose he now invoke happy thoughts for me. It becomes more of a swear word. JIMINY CRICKET!! Please imagine that to be a profanity…
We’ll start at the beginning, which is not where all great stories start, sometimes it’s the end. But non the less we’ll start around there, plus no one said this was going to be a great story. One night when I was resting my head to drift off to sleep I heard a rather loud chirping of a cricket. I passed this up to the fact that my room has a door that leads out and then up to cellar doors and he was merely near them , thus causing him to be extra loud. Then I drifted off to sleep. Woke up the next day, went to work and came home at about 6 in the evening. Only to discover that there was a loud chirping noise once again. This struck me as rather odd. What crazy cricket is out at 6 in the evening, considering that it’s still extremely bright at this time, so this lead to an investigation. I stood by the door to observe that, yes the noise was very loud from there. So then the investigation took the next logical step. I traveled outside to the outer part of the cellar door to see if there was a cricket…but there was no cricket. I stomped around and moved grass but there was no cricket. Next step, stomp on cellar door. The sudden hush of a startled cricket. Indeed Jiminy Cricket was trapped in the area between my room and the outside. I went back to my room and thought, it’s ok he’ll die soon enough.
Not soon enough. As I went about my business that night I could hear the chirp chirps. These once normal then annoying chirps were beginning to become sad. I thought about poor Jiminy Cricket out there stuck in the bottom of a well of sorts, with no food slowly starving to death. It pained my heart. Sadly though my extreme fear of bugs would not allow me to open the door and mercifully kill him for the fear of him jumping on me and causing immediate death…dramatic, I think not! So I had to bear with the thought of poor Jiminy wasting away. It truly troubled me.
The next day, my day off, and not a sound from poor little Jiminy. He had gone on his way I was sure. Bless his heart, and not in the southern swear word way. I’m sad to say I didn’t give Jiminy much thought until late that night I was lying in bed and a very loud chirping began. You sneaky bastard! You tricked me! You were quite all day sleeping or something! The anger built and the hatred began toward Jiminy Cricket! Again when I came home from work tonight around 10, JIMINY CRICKET!!! Now I have no sympathy for the beast. I WANT HIM DEAD!!! I think I’ll open up the cellar and spray massive amounts of RAID down there. Farewell Jiminy Cricket. But still I hope you rest in peace…fuck…
